The Varia reads Twilight
by Akashi x Murasakibara 4Ever
Summary: During Carmina's recent trip to America, she found a book fairly known all around the world. What happens when she gathers up the Varia to read it? Third person POV. Strong language. Viewer discretion is advised.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey everyone, want to read a book a found in America?" Carmina asked.

"No," Squalo muttered, looking up at her as she held the book up in the air.

"Why not? It'll be fun!" Carmina whined.

"I'm up for it!" Lussuria said.

"Why not? Nothing else exciting is happening right now," Bel said.

"Sempai, are you sure you can read?" Fran asked, making Carmina glare at him and Bel throw his knives, which stuck in Fran's frog hat.

"I'm sure I can read," Carmina said. Fran just nodded and Carmina looked at Levi.

"Only if the Boss wants to read it as well," Levi said.

"I don't give a damn."

"Well, looks like your opinion has been trampled Squalo. I'm reading it!" Carmina said, sitting down on Xanxus' lap and opening the book.

"Only the first chapter though darling. It's 12 am and we've all had a long day," Lussuria said. Carmina nodded.

She cleared her throat and began.

**I never thought about how I would die.**

"I'm pretty sure I'm already thinking about dying right now," Squalo said.

"Shut it. I haven't even gotten past the first sentence and you're already pissing me off," Carmina said.

"And I'm supposed to care?"

Carmina just sighed and kept reading.

**Though I'd had reason enough in the last few months- but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.**

"She's already dying?" Carmina asked.

"How is this an entire novel if she's already dying?" Lussuria asked.

"Maybe it's not the main character?" Carmina asked.

"Just keep reading!" Squalo said.

"Okay!" Carmina said.

**I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me.**

**Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved.**

Xanxus placed his arm around Carmina as she paused for a second. She blinked, then continued.

**Noble, even. That ought to count for something.**

**I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But, as terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision.**

"You should regret it if you're dying," Fran said.

"Everyone shut up! I'm not even past the first page yet!" Carmina yelled.

"Whatever, just hurry up," Squalo said.

**When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me.**

"Sounds like a certain sadist prince I know," Carmina said, glancing at Bel as she turned the page. Bel just laughed and she sighed.

**My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue.**

"We need to go to Phoenix one day," Carmina noted and everyone nodded in agreement.

**I was wearing my favorite shirt- sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.**

"Who the fuck carries a parka?" Squalo asked.

"This person obviously," Carmina said. Squalo just rolled his eyes and Carmina snuggled deeper into Xanxus' chest before continuing.

**In the Olympic Peninsula of the northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds.**

Everyone paused momentarily to stare out the window, where the rain pelted against the window.

**It rains on this inconsequential-**

"I bet you don't even know what that word means," Squalo said.

"And you do?" Carmina shot back. Squalo gulped and looked away, making Carmina smile.

**Town more than any other place in the United States of America. It was from this town and it's gloomy, omnipresent shade that my mother escaped with me when I was only a few months old. It was in this town that I'd been compelled to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen.**

"Every summer, that's got to be harsh. I mean, the humidity probably ruined their hair!" Lussuria butt in. He looked at Carmina.

"Don't ever go there darling. Your hair is too precious!" he said. Carmina just looked at Lussuria, then slowly turned her attention back to the book.

**That was the year I finally put my foot down; these past three summers, my dad, Charlie, vacationed with me in California for two weeks instead. It was to Forks I now exiled myself- an action that I took with great horror. I detested Forks.**

"Why the fuck is she going then?" Xanxus butt in.

"Don't ask me like I've actually read the story before," Carmina said. Xanxus glared at her before closing his eyes.

"Don't sleep."

"I'm not sleeping, just keep reading."

Carmina just sighed and looked back at the book.

**I loved Phoenix. I loved the sun and the blistering heat. I loved the vigorous, sprawling city.**

"The city sucks," Carmina and Bel said simultaneously. They looked at each other and high fived.

"I thought you liked the city Carmina," Lussuria said.

"I like towns, not cities. Cities are too crowded," Carmina said.

"Ah," Lussuria said before ushering her to continue.

**"Bella," my mom said to me-**

"So, it's a girl?" Levi said.

"Oh, I don't know it sounds like a guy to me," Carmina said sarcastically. Levi just glared at her and she threw one of Xanxus' guns at his head. He wasn't able to dodge it. It hit him hard and Carmina just looked at the book again.

**The last of a thousand times- before I got on the place. "You don't have to do this."**

**My mom looks like me, except with short hair and laugh lines.**

Everyone looked at Carmina.

"Are you saying I have laugh lines!?"

That made everyone look in different directions.

**I felt a spasm of panic as I stared at her wide, childlike eyes. How could I leave my loving, erratic, harebrained mother to fend for herself? Of course she had Phil now, so the bills would be paid, there would be food in the refrigerator, gas in her car, and someone to call when she was lost, but still…**

"Damn, can this lady do anything on her own?" Carmina asked.

"Doesn't sound like it," Squalo said," Reminds me of you."

"Excuse me?"

Xanxus' other gun was launched at Squalo. Luckily, he dodged it. Carmina glanced at Levi and laughed at the large bump the gun had made on his head.

"Y-You look so stupid!" Carmina gasped.

"Just read!" Levi said.

But Carmina continued to laugh. For 5 minutes. She gasped for breath and looked at the book again, clearing her throat.

**"I want to go," I lied. I'd always been a bad liar, but I'd been saying this lie so frequently lately that it sounded almost convincing now.**

**"Tell Charlie I said hi."**

**"I will."**

"This book is boring," Bel said.

"I never knew that princes complained," Carmina said.

"That's all they do," Fran said.

_Stab._

"Shut it Froggy," Bel said," But I think this story would be a ton more interesting if you were naked."

"Fuck no. My eyes only, trash," Xanxus said, tightening his hold on Carmina. She just giggled and looked at the book again.

**"I'll see you soon," she insisted. "You can come home whenever you want- I'll come right back as soon as you need me."**

**But I could see the sacrifice in her eyes behind the promise.**

**"Don't worry about me," I urged. "It'll be great. I love you, Mom."**

"Awww," Carmina said, making everyone look at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Just keep fucking reading," Squalo said.

**She hugged me tightly for a minute, and then I got on the plane, and she was gone. It's a four hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a small plane up to Port Angeles, and then an hour drive back down the Forks.**

"All this talk about flying is making my stomach hurt** ," **Carmina muttered.

**"**Keep. Fucking. Reading," Squalo said," I actually want to go to sleep tonight."

**Flying doesn't bother me; the hour in the car with Charlie, though, I was a little worried about.**

"Why? Is her dad a child molester or something?" Carmina asked. Carmina's eyes flashed towards Lussuria for a second before she shuddered and continued.

**Charlie had really been fairly nice about the whole thing. He seemed genuinely pleased that I was coming to live with him for the first time with any degree of permanence. He's already gotten me registered for high school and was going to help me get a car.**

"Lucky, I didn't get a car until I was 21," Carmina said.

"You got your license taken away because you hi-jacked a car. I'm pretty sure with something like that on your records, you weren't going to get a car until you got it back," Squalo said.

"I only hi-jacked I because I didn't have a car. A certain someone wouldn't allow me to get one," Carmina said, glancing at Xanxus before looking back at the book.

**But it was sure to be awkward with Charlie. Neither of us was what anyone would call verbose, and I didn't know what there was to say regardless. I knew he was more than a little confused by my decision- like my mother before me, I hadn't made a secret of my distaste for Forks.**

**"**Disown the bitch," Carmina said, making everyone look at her like she was crazy.

"You want them to disown her because she doesn't like a certain place?" Squalo asked.

Carmina just nodded.

"…Please don't become a parent."

"Hey!"

"Keep reading," Xanxus said. Carmina growled before doing what she was told.

**When I landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. I didn't see it was an omen- just unavoidable. I'd already said my goodbyes to the sun.**

"Saying goodbye to an inanimate object? This chick's got issues," Fran said. Everyone agreed and Squalo shivered.

"Are you cold darling? I'll keep you warm~," Lussuria said.

"NO!" Squalo yelled. Carmina just giggled and yawned.

**Charlie was waiting for me in the cruiser. This I was expecting, too. Charlie is Police Chief Swan to the good people of Forks. My primary motivation behind buying a car despite the scarcity of my funds, was that I refused to be driven around town in a car with red and blue light on top. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop.**

"I thought cops could speed through traffic, not slow it down," Carmina said.

"The author fucked it up," Squalo said. Everyone agreed and Carmina went on.

**Charlie gave me an awkward, one-armed hug when I stumbled my way off the plane. "It's good to see you Bells," he said, smiling as he automatically caught and steadied me.**

"Who the fuck stumbles off of a plane?" Carmina asked.

"This chick obviously," Levi said. Carmina glared at him and reach for Xanxus' gun. Which wasn't there.

"Squalo, hand me that gun," Carmina said. He just sighed and gave her the gun. She threw it, hitting Levi in the eye. Everyone burst out in laughter and no onein the room could breathe.

"I can't believe that you hit him in the eye. That was amazing," Bel said, trying to catch his breath.

"I know right!" Carmina said. After everything calmed down, Carmina began reading again.

**"You haven't changed much. How's Renee?"**

**"Mom's fine. It's good to see you, too, Dad." I wasn't allowed to call him Charlie to his face.**

"Harsh life right there," Fran said.

**I had only a few bags. Most of my Arizona clothes were too permeable for Washington. My mom and I had pooled our resources to supplement my winter wardrobe, but it was still scanty. It all fit easily into the trunk of the cruier.**

**"I found a good car for you, really cheap," he announced when we were strapped in.**

"Announced? Don't you mean he told her?" Carmina asked.

"Does it really matter?" Squalo asked.

"Of course it does! An announcement is like when you tell someone you're pregnant," Lussuria said.

"That's not what I meant, but okay," Carmina said, yawning again.

**"What kind of car?" I was suspicious of the way he said "good car for you" as opposed to just "good car."**

**"Well, it's truck actually, a Chevy-"**

Carmina passed out.

"Did she really just..? Squalo trailed off.

"Well, that's it for tonight I guess. Everyone seems to be tired anyways. Good night darlings," Lussuria said, getting up and walking away.

One by one, they all left, until it was Squalo, Xanxus, and a sleeping Carmina.

"Damn woman, making us listen to this boring as novel and then falling asleep while reading it," Squalo murmured.

"Shut it trash, I'm trying to sleep," Xanxus said.

"Whatever, I'm going to bed," Squalo said. Xanxus just grunted and Squalo walked up the stairs. He got in bed and sighed. Then it hit him.

"Since when does Carmina read!?"

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I hope you enjoy this story! Please review and tell me if I should continue! Read my other stories as well! Ciao! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

"Why the fuck are you pushing me!?" Squalo yelled at Carmina, who was pushing him down the hallway.

"Everyone has to be there!" Carmina yelled, pushing Squalo into the study. Everyone else was already there and Carmina grabbed the book from a nearby shelf.

"I have no idea why you want to keep reading that lame ass book," Squalo growled.

"I can read you a children's book. Would that make little sharkie happy?" Carmina baby talked him, making him glare at her. She sat on Xanxus' lap, like usual, and opened it to the page they were last on.

"This better not take forever," Levi muttered," I have to do the Boss' paperwork."

"Don't worry, you'll go back to being Xanxus' bitch soon," Carmina giggled, making Levi twitch. She cleared her throat and began.

**"Where did you find it?"**

**"Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?" La Push is the tiny Indian reservation on the coast.**

"Interesting how she specified it was an Indian reservation. Maybe it has something to do with the story," Carmina said.

"We won't know unless you don't keep reading," Lussuria said.

"Okay, I'll try to get past the first chapter without stopping," Carmina said, smiling lightly.

**"No."**

**"He used to go fishing with us during the summer," Charlie prompted.**

**That would explain why I didn't remember him. I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory.**

**"He's in a wheelchair now," Charlie continued when I didn't respond," so he can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me his truck cheap."**

**"What year is it?" I could see from his change of expression that this was the question he was hoping I wouldn't ask,**

**"Well, Billy's done a lot of work on the engine- it's only a few years old really."**

"That sounds like a lie," Fran said.

"One big fat lie," Carmina agreed.

**I hoped he didn't think so little of me as to believe I would give up that easily. "When did he buy it?**

**"He bought it in 1984, I think."**

"He's an old man," Carmina said," like someone I know."

She snuck a peek and Xanxus and he glared at her. She smiled nervously and Xanxus just rolled his eyes.

"You're not much younger than me. Remember that," Xanxus said, making Carmina's smile disappear.

**"Did he buy it new?"**

**"Well, no. I think it was new in the early sixties- or late fifties at the earliest," he admitted sheepishly.**

**"Ch- Dad, I don't really know anything about cars. I wouldn't be able to fix it if anything went wrong, and I couldn't afford a mechanic..."**

**"Really, Bella, the thing runs great. They don't build them like that anymore."**

**The thing, I thought to myself... it had possibilities- as a nickname, at the very least.**

"That sentence made no sense," Carmina blinked.

"Tell me about it," Squalo replied.

**"How cheap is cheap?" After all, that was the part I couldn't compromise on.**

**"Well, honey, I kind of already bought it for you. As a homecoming gift." Charlie peeked sideways at me with a hopeful expression.**

**Wow. Free.**

**"You didn't need to do that, Dad. I was going to buy myself a car."**

"I wish I could buy myself a car," Carmina muttered.

"If you bought a car, you'd only drive it once then flip it into a ravine for fun," Xanxus explained. Carmina giggled and agreed.

**"I don't mind. I want you to be happy here." He was looking ahead at the road when he said this. Charlie wasn't comfortable with expressing his emotions out loud. I inherited that from him. So I was looking straight ahead as I responded.**

**"That's really nice Dad. Thanks. I really appreciate it." No need to add that my being happy in Forks was an impossibility. He didn't need to suffer along with me. And I never looked a free truck in the mouth- or engine.**

"I want a free truck!" Carmina exclaimed," Xanxus, you should get me a truck."

"Fuck no. You can barely handle a car. I don't want you to die trying to drive a fucking truck," Xanxus muttered, making Carmina sigh.

"I'm not that bad of a driver," she replied.

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"I'm not going to fucking argue with you Carmina."

Carmina just rolled her eye and sighed, giving up the argument.

**"Well, now, you're welcome," he mumbled, embarrassed by my thanks.**

"Xanxus gets embarrassed every time I thank him," Carmina raised her pitch so it seemed like she was talking to a baby or a dog. Xanxus clearly didn't like that, and shoved her off his lap.

Literally.

"Hey! That was unnecessary!" Carmina yelled. Xanxus just ignored her and she slinked over to Bel, who gladly let her occupy his lap.

**We exchanged a few more comments about the weather, which was wet, and that was pretty much it for Conversation. We stared out the windows in silence.**

**It was beautiful, of course; I couldn't deny that. Everything was green: the trees, their trunks covered with moss, their branches hanging with a canopy of it, the ground covered with ferns. Even the hair filtered down greenly through the leaves. It was too green- an alien planet.**

"I agree, it does seem a little too green," Carmina mumbled, obviously still upset that Xanxus had pushed her out of his lap.

**Eventually, we made it to Charlie's. He still lived in the small, two-bedroom house that he'd bought with my mother in the early days of their marriage. Those were the only kind of days their marriage had- the early ones.**

Carmina's eye flashed towards Xanxus for a moment.

**There, parked on the street in front of the house that never changed, was my new- well new to me- truck. It was a faded red color, with big, rounded fenders and a bulbous cab.**

"I have no idea what any of that is," Squalo muttered.

"I have no idea anyone else know?" Carmina asked, looking out towards everyone else in the room. Lussuria noticed that she avoided Xanxus' eyes and frowned deeply.

**To my intense surprise, I loved it. I didn't know if it would run, but I could see myself in it. Plus, it was one of those solid iron affairs that never gets damaged- the kind you see at the scene of the accident, paint unscratched, surrounded by the pieces of the foreign car it had destroyed.**

"I really want to destroy something right now," Carmina growled.

"What are you moaning about now?" Xanxus muttered angrily. Carmina just twitched and leaned on Bel's chest.

**"Wow, Dad. I love it! Thanks!" Now my horrific day tomorrow would be just that much less dreadful.**

**I wouldn't be faced with the choice of either walking two miles in the rain to school or accepting a ride in the Chief's cruiser.**

**"I'm glad you like it," Charlie said gruffly, embarrassed again.**

**It took only one trip to get all my stuff upstairs. I got the west bedroom that faced out over the front yard.**

"I wish I had a room that looked over the front lawn," Carmina whined.

"Our front lawn is completely trashed. Why the fuck would you want to look at it?" Squalo asked. Carmina just shrugged and sighed.

**The room was familiar; it had been belonged to me since I was born. The wooden floor, the light blue walls, the peaked ceiling, the yellow laced curtains around the window- these were all part of my childhood. The only changes Charlie had ever made were switched my crib for a bed and adding a desk as I grew. The desk now held a secondhand computer, with the phone line for the modem stapled along with floor to the nearest phone jack. This was the stipulation fromy my mother, so that we could stay in touch easily. The rocking chair from my baby days was still in the corner.**

"That seems nice, being surrounded by your childhood memories," Carmina smiled softly. Xanxus sighed and looked at her.

'Why does she have to make me feel so damn guilty?' Xanxus thought to himself.

**These was only one small bathroom at the top of the stairs, which I would have to share with Charlie.**  
**I was trying not to dwell too much on that fact.**

"Sharing a bathroom with your dad? Harsh," Fran said.

"I wouldn't mind sharing a bathroom if he's attractive," Lussuria cooed.

_"Fucking homo."_

"What did you say Squalo darling?" Lussuria gave Squalo a scary smile.

"N-Nothing," he muttered," Can we just read one or two more lines of this damn story?"

Carmina just nodded and yawned.

**One of the best things about Charlie is he doesn't hover. He left me alone to unpack and get settled in, a feat that would have no been possible for my mother. It was nice to be alone, not have to smile and look pleased; a relief to stare dejected out the window at the sheeting rain and let just a few tears escape. I wasn't in the mood to go on a real crying jag. I would save that for bedtime, when I would have to think about the coming morning.**

As Carmina marked the page and closed the book for the day, everyone sighed.

"This book is really boring. Why is it so popular?" Squalo asked.

"Maybe Americans like boring things?" Carmina guessed and everyone except Xanxus just shrugged.

"Anyways, I'm kind of tired. I'm going to take a nap in my room," Carmina muttered, climbing out of Bel's lap and hiking up the stairs. Everyone was silent.

"Boss you really shouldn't have been so mean to her-" Lussuria sighed.  
'One more word and I'll kill you," Xanxus threatened. They heard a door slam and everyone made a mental note to stay away from both Carmina and Xanxus for a while.

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Sorry for the uber long wait. I'm sorry about that! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Dont' forget to follow, favorite, review and check out my other works as well! Ciao! :)


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